J.L., the Supper Sleuths formally thank you for coming to the fine shindig that is Crimescene: County Fair. First of all, the upcoming party at the Hickleberry County Fair is guaranteed to be a night to remember, so make sure you show up on time and laugh the night away.  Make sure you get dressed up in clean clothes for the big event, and run a comb through those luscious, oily dreadlocks in your beard before you come!  Of course, making an event on time won’t be at all hard for a reliable trucker like you! Below is your invitation, in case you need a reminder.  Truckers like yourself can forget things since you’re running on low sleep half the time.  Make sure your buddies on the ham radio remind you!  Over and out!

Full Name: Jerry Lyle “J.L.” Mackabee.

Favorite Animal: “Bulldog like the hood ornament on my Mack truck!”

Favorite Vacation Destination: “I go everywhere.  I’m always on vacation.  Let’s talk about finding a home!  Now that’s a dream!”

Favorite Color: “Green.  Cash spends easy and don’t get ya into trouble like credit.”

Favorite Food:  “Whatever they got at the truck stop around three am.  It’s been marinatin’ all day and it’s sure to be the best vittles.  Same with the coffee at that hour.”

Favorite Song: “On the Road Again,” by Willy Nelson.”

You come from a long line of truckers in the heartland.  You’ve been on runs to about every major city on the blessed map of this great country, and you love to brag about your many experiences abroad.  You also like to think of yourself as a tough but sensitive man of honor and pride.  Throughout the night when you want something, you challenge others to arm-wrestle for it.  Oh, and you can’t help but speak trucker CB lingo all the time.  For some help with this finely tuned language art, seehttp://www.thetruckersreport.com/trucker_lingo.shtml

Your attire consists of old rugged blue jeans, a flannel shirt, suspenders, and an old greasy hat, preferably with a John Deere emblem or car/truck theme.  If possible wear a beard, mustache, or mullet wig, and for a finishing touch, wear a wallet with a chain on it.  Your physical stature should be sitting or standing with fists clenched, hunched over as though you have a protruding gut (if you don’t already have one!).